Chinese Dating Culture: A Comprehensive Guide

Chinese dating culture is an interesting and complex topic.

It involves many factors such as China's traditional concepts, social changes, personal preferences, etc.

In this article, we will analyze in detail the characteristics and differences of dating in China:

Chinese Dating Culture

To put it simply, the dating culture in China is completely different from that in the United States.

In China, boys chase girls and they date until they break up or stay together for a long time.

In the US, people date multiple individuals simultaneously. This is different from Chinese culture, where men and women usually only date one person at a time.

For example, go out to eat, watch movies, get in touch, and see which date you like the most.

As the relationship progresses, the other person may one day say that they want to continue an exclusive date.

If two people fall in love, they will declare their commitment, form a couple, and eventually marry.

The Historical Evolution of Chinese Dating Culture

China has a rich history and culture, and its dating customs evolve. We can roughly divide it into the following periods:

Ancient Views on Marriage

In the past, Chinese marriage focused on family and society, not personal feelings or desires.

Therefore, the dating culture in ancient times basically did not exist. Parents or matchmakers arranged most marriages. Before the wedding, the couple didn’t have much of a relationship or communication.

Feudal society viewed marriage as very important. But things started changing slowly in modern times.

Chinese Marriage in the 1980s

As China changes, so do Chinese views on love.

Some intellectuals and young people influenced by the West started supporting free love and marriage.

They opposed arranged marriage and feudal ethics and advocated equality between men and women and freedom of love.

On the other hand, some traditional families and societies still adhere to the old views on marriage.

They believe that love is frivolous, marriage is a family matter, and one must obey the arrangements of parents.

As a result, modern dating culture polarizes.

Some people give up their families and lives for love, even if it costs them their lives.

Some people have to give up their love and obey their parents because they consider the bigger picture.

Modern View of Love

As education and technology advance, Chinese people's perspectives and thoughts have become more varied and inclusive.

Love and marriage choices are now more independent and diverse, with less interference from family and society.

On the other hand, Chinese people have higher requirements for love and marriage.

They not only have to consider emotional and personality fit, but also economic and life adaptation. They even have to face some social problems, such as housing prices, employment, childbirth, etc.

So, Chinese dating culture is diverse and complex, but some people can achieve a happy life by finding a partner.

Other lovers face various difficulties and challenges, and even fall into loneliness and despair.

Features of Chinese Dating Culture

Chinese dating culture has the following characteristics:

Influenced by Tradition

Traditional values such as family, marriage, and filial piety shape Chinese dating culture.

When dating, many Chinese people will confirm whether the other person is suitable for a long-term relationship. Some even ask their parents and grandparents for their opinions. This is very different from Western countries.

In addition, there is an interesting phenomenon in the Chinese marriage market. That is, some parents will take the initiative to go to some parks to help their children find partners.

Online Dating

Young Chinese are more free, open and diverse, so many people will pursue individuality, romance and creativity when dating. They will even try online dating and flash marriage.

Regional Differences

For example, northerners are more direct, forthright and humorous, while southerners are more reserved, delicate and gentle.

Different regions also have different dating habits. For example, Beijingers like to go for a walk in the park. Shanghainese like to chat in cafes. Chengdu people like to eat at hotpot restaurants.

Age Difference

The post-80s and post-90s generations pay more attention to personal feelings, hobbies and emotional communication.

The post-70s and post-60s generations pay more attention to responsibility, economic conditions and social status.

Different generations also have different dating styles.

For example, those born in the 1980s and 1990s love texting. The apps they use most are WeChat and QQ.

Those born in the 1970s and 1960s prefer to communicate on the phone or face-to-face.

Men Pay

Chinese men generally actively pursue women, while women generally passively accept men. Guys usually shoulder the payment, driving expenses, and responsibilities when going on a date.

The Special Nature of the Festival

Chinese couples express their love during the Qixi Festival.

During these festivals, lovers usually send flowers, chocolates, cards and other gifts to each other. Or go to the movies, have a big meal, travel and other romantic things.

Dating a Chinese Girl

What should you pay attention to when dating a Chinese woman?

You Need to be More Gentle

Chinese women are generally more traditional and conservative. They like western men who can be proactive and considerate, giving them a sense of security and warmth.

You should offer to drive for her on the date. Let her walk on the inside of the road.

Appropriate Physical Contact

Chinese girls tend to shy away from showing too much affection in public, like cuddling or even kissing.

You should keenly observe her reaction during the date and choose the right time and occasion. Make some light physical contact, such as holding hands, hugging or gently kissing on the cheek.

Take the Initiative to Contact After the Date

It is generally not easy for Chinese women to establish a relationship on the first date. They need more time and opportunities to get to know you and see if you are sincere and reliable.

You should take the initiative to contact her after the date to express your interest and concern for her. Invite her to date again and respect her wishes and rhythm.